Monday, December 1, 2008

Time for another reflection from my wee little brain....

Mom and Dad visited this holiday. Look at the cute robes Mom made for the kids. Hunter had to wear his to the store and Petland. I let him. Who cares what people think. He was thrilled.
Preschool children were doing a little rain dance around the carpet.
I have been thinking alot lately. I received a big blow from a good friend I haven't heard from, for twenty years. He has chosen a way of living that is.....let's just say......as the "church Lady" used to say....."it's of the Devil"!!!! He is doing devilish things. I am so sad about it. He has chosen not to procreate with a women, not to share a life with a sweet family. He has chosen to be selfish. To do things that only gratify him. I am sick about it. We were best of friends when we were teenagers. We even dreamed of sharing a life together? How could it happen? We are not born that way? And if we have those tendencies....can't we control them? I don't go jump the bones of every hot guy I see. I control my passions. I am having a hard time. I still love him. I care for his safety. I asked him if he still believed in the things he taught as a missionary. He didn't respond and cut me off. No more contact. The devilish side of me wanted to "watch" his way of living. He lives a life of Broadway. He does makeup and hair for many Broadway shows. He is doing Spamalot right now. Travels all over. I wanted to see what that life was like. I did question.....for a moment. Could it be better than the life I have chosen? Could it be a life that satisfies his passion forever? Or just for a brief moment? Doesn't he wonder what he left? He won't be able to create darling children that take after him. Deep blue eyes. Creative soul. Will Heavenly Father forgive him? Is this a mental illness? He knew the truth....yet he has left it? I ached and constantly thought about it for about a week.....then my parents came......and we talked.
That opened my eyes to the whole picture of my life. Here is my mother and father who have lived a good life. They have had their ups and downs. They have worked hard. They have procreated. They are seeing a new generation. They still believe in the Christ that their progenitors did. They went to church every Sunday.....even when they didn't want to. They served in many challenging callings. They did hard things. They did it because they know that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, they can do all things. I looked in their eyes and knew they were satisfied with the life they have lived. They are serving still today. They serve all the time. Because of Him. I am trying to live that life He wants us to live.
I am so glad my mom and dad came. It was great fun. My kids enjoyed them. We ate and went to the movies, laughed and played games. Good times. I love them and what they stand for. I am proud of my ancestors for coming to America from Sweden and Norway to find truth, live it and love it. They worked hard and loved each other. I hope to raise my children the way my progenitors did. That is what I am most Thankful for this year.
P.S. My husband just read this.........he wondered why I was rehashing these feelings?......He is the manly man I chose to marry! He has made great choices! I have no regret. Procreation! Hip Hip Hooray!

8 comments:

Amy said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend! I also have a few friends from my past that have chosen a different way, and it makes me so sad! Even two of my brothers. I just can't understand it. It makes me sick. I hope you are feeling better.
You are such a great teacher and Emily loves you!
p.s. Those robes look warm! And I agree, who cares what people think? I still try to curb some of Emily's odd combinations, but still. At least they're happy, right? :)

Amy said...

I guess I should clarify after reading my comment, my brothers have chosen a different way, but not the one you mentioned.... just one that doesn't include God...

Kris said...

I have a loved one that lives this exact lifestyle. It's not an easy one to understand, cope with, or like. But like you said, the best thing is to love them. It's hard, frustrating, and very difficult to do that, when you know what they are doing is wrong. It's shocking news, and I'm sorry that you are dealing with that. Not fun.

Love the pictures of your kids with grandpa and grandma. Too fun. Glad you guys had a great weekend together enjoying the things you love to do!

tharker said...

I love that you let Hunter wear his robe to the store. You're such a fun mom, Kristen and your kids will cherish that about you! Good job!!

As for your friend, just love him. Period. You can love him and be a great friend without loving his lifestyle. You are one of the most Christ-like people I know, and I know you can do this!

Your parents are such a great example. You have much to be proud of.

And I love the robes!!!

Nola said...

The robes turned out so cute. Katie is beautiful! Your mom loved the saying,"i can do hard things" on the wall as you go your stairs. She said it was very inspiring to read that every morning. Now she has it posted in her kitchen. I'm going to have to post it on our magnet board for her so when things get hard these next few weeks she'll be inspired. It is inspiring...Now I'm going to go clean the toilets.

Andre said...

I have a cousin and uncle who have chosen that way of life. They both went on missions; what happened? I asked my cousin a lot of questions one day and kind of get why he chose the way he did. He knows it's wrong but still lives like that. I think if he knows it's wrong, he doesn't have to follow those tendencies. It's sad to see him come out and not hide it. You have my sympathy.

Amy J. said...

That picture with grandma and grandpa is so good! I'm glad I got to hear your friend story in person at Bunco...it is always so hard when our loved ones choose to use their free agency to fall away.

Freeze Family said...

Hi Kristen!!
I loved reading your blog!!! Mom got the link to Nola's blog and I found the link to yours!! Your family is soo cute!! Hope all is well with you....
your cuz Mindy