Friday, May 16, 2008

How's your....Over the shoulder boulder holder...fittin' you lately?

Because of this latest picture of my "sagging fluffs"....I decided I needed a lesson on bra coverage and to buy a nice new bra! I know....you are probably thinking...What the...? Kristen is so blunt! Sorry.....it's the facts of life....and when you have big juicy ones' like me....you need to learn how to wear em' honey!
I went to Lane Bryant....a wonderful store for women larger than size 14. They are having a sale ...buy one, get one half off. I did the thing your not suppose to do! Buy it without trying on! But , Hunter was with me and I just couldn't have him in the dressing room with me asking a millon questions out loud...so everyone can hear him!(i.e."Mom, why are your boobs so big?")
I came home and looked on Lane Bryant web site...and found some interesting facts!
1. How to measure you for a bra: measure the width under your boobs, and measure the fullest part of your boobs. Subtract the two measurements and that will determine the cup size.
My measurements are 44 in around and fullest part is 48.....so I would be a D cup. (TMI!!!)
2ins.=B cup
3ins.=C cup
4ins.=D cup
5ins.=DD cup
and so forth
2.Adjust your bra straps neither too tight or too loose!
3. Pull down the back part, so it rests under your shoulder blades.
4. Make sure all the "fluff" is in the cup!
5. If the front part of your bra doesn't rest on your breastbone....means your cup size is too small.
6. Everytime you wash bra, readjust your straps.
7. While looking in the mirror, your "fluffs" must be inbetween your shoulder and elbow!
8. Eight out of ten women wear the wrong bra size!
9. If the bra rides up in the back....could be too loose. Tighten up!
10. Measure every 6 months for change.....(wieght, age, giving birth)
11. Any digging, extra material in the front......wrong size......
I hope no one was offended.....But.....I sure needed the knowlege!
"Do your "fluffs" hang low?? Do they wobble to and fro...
Can you tie em' in a knot? Can you tie em' in a bow?....
Oh Sorry! Got a little carried away!!!
Happy weekend to you!

13 comments:

Kate said...

thanks so much for the info!
I KNOW I wear the wrong size....but even the Victoria Secret ladies don't even know what is wrong with my boobs!! lol
I am going to study these facts and go a hunting for a bra myself :)

Amy said...

OMG! Finding a good bra has been the biggest quest of my life, once I found a husband! And I don't trust anyone who measures me, they're always wrong! I've found that I have to go a little smaller to compensate for the stretching that the weight of my 'fluffs' do! I love the way you blog, cracks me up! Only you could pull this off.

Washington Rimmasch Family said...

seriously! This is why I love you:)

::lindsay said...

You crack me up!!! Too funny. I love that you described them as "big juicy ones." It is so hard for me to find a good bra because I barely have any "fluff", so to speak. I've gotten fitted before though and it's really helped.

tharker said...

I have not laughed this hard in such a long time! Thank you for these little gems:
"sagging fluffs"
"big juicy ones"
"you need to learn how to wear 'em honey"
"Make sure all the fluff is in the cup"
And of course the rendition of "Do your fluffs hang low?"

You stinking kill me Kristen! I agree with Niki. This is exactly why I adore you! You are so real and hilarious to boot!

Thank you for sharing this very important information. Because wearing the right bra in the right size can change your life! Seriously.

Debie Spurgeon said...

I love the practical info. Kristen. You're hilarious. I wish I had a little fluff to stuff.

I had no idea this was such a thing, until I saw the Oprah special. She was squeezing and touching everyones fluff, she's bold.

Jessica said...

You crack me up, this was so funny! I went for a bra fitting once and although it was a bit unconfortable, the tips she gave me were great!

AOlson said...

I absolutely ADORE you Kristen!! You have the greatest sense of humor. This was so funny I read it 3 or 4 times. I love you man!!!

Heather said...

Big juicy ones... ditto!

Jan said...

Hilarious. Now I know what the word fluff is. I thought is was something completely different. Good information for women. Haven't heard that song in awhile. You are such an open book of fun.
Take care Kristen.

Amy J. said...

Oh Kristen, I am sitting here reading away and after every paragraph I am glancing down at my chest. I havn't been nursing for over two months now and yet guess what I am wearing....thanks for the inspiration!

PRP said...

You kill me, and I love it.

Alicia Leppert said...

This was so informative and hilarious to boot. I know my bras don't fit right, I despise buying bras. I so need to be fitted, but I have never been able to figure out how to make it work with some certain underwear. For those of you who have done it, email me or call me and let me know. I am so in the market for a new bra that fits!